Proof!

Greetings!

I've downloaded two more videos for you all! It rained hard this week and I think I captured it perfectly. E. was feeling rather adventurous and wanted to prove to you all the RAIN we have to endure. These videos were taken at the beginning of the typhoon (i thoroughly enjoy using that word)...you can imagine how much more rain filled the streets later on;)

We had a holiday this past Wednesday. It was Constitution day, I believe. Obviously not that big of a deal cause I had to work! After work I met up with some of the staff for a supper meeting at Sovanna Shopping Center...except of course, I went to the wrong shopping center and had to make them wait while I took another motto to get to the actual destination! Yes, these happenings seem to happen often! I'm beginning to think they are part of my character....sadly.

Anyways, the story isn't about me getting mixed up! It's about my journey to the actual destination that brought me such trauma. Okay it was around 5:30/6pm, so it was getting dark. I had taken a motto that I knew from our corner. Reliable. Trustworthy. But when the darkness set in I felt a bit unsafe. On the way to the first center the clouds started to darken. I was scared it was going to break out in thunder any minute.

All of a sudden I heard sirens. I looked back to see not 4, but 5 half tons filled with millitary staff. They were armed. Automatically I froze with fear. My motto slowed down and hugged the curb. My mind started to race. It was Constitution Day. I thought about all the stories I had heard about Pol Pot, about when the people thought they could celabrate because of their independence but instead they were massacred. My mind automatically went to the most horrific places. "I'm going to die", I thought. Yep. It's the end.

As the trucks passed me, the soldiers of course noticed my white skin. I was both scared and embarrassed at the same time. What to do?...so I smiled! Oh dear. Well, honestly, what else was I supposed to do? They had guns for goodness sake!! They passed. No gun shots. No death....yet. (excuse my over dramatization of such a simple, silly event...but I am Kimberly Foster...and it is a bit scary to see shotguns!)

Later on in my travels to the "right" shopping center, I came across a major motto accident. Three mottos involved. I only saw one casualty; a large laceration to the ride leg. I was still scared spitless about the rifles so I stuck to my motto dop like a burr to a cat, no way was I going to attempt to get off and help him! I think the mottos involved were hauling tubs of petrol b/c there was petrol all over the street. I was worried something would catch it on fire and I hoped my motto dop would not drive through it! But...he did. I put my little white arms about my motto dops waist and prayed for God to take me quickly!

Needless to say, I survived the entire evening without any bullet wounds or burns!

Thank you for your continued prayers of safety and protection...you can see how much I need them!

Officially pumped.

I am officially counting down the days until this weekend.
It's Festival of the Dead. I'm not even gonna attempt to write the Khmer name for it! Buddhist Cambodians head to the temples during this very "special" festival to offer sacrifices and gifts to Buddha. Let's just say the monks will eat well.

Big EZ and I are heading out of town though to the BEACH. Sihanoukville to be exact. It's about a 2 hour bus ride from lovely PP. Our beautiful hotel is equiped with AC, a pool, free breakfast, two single beds and is a hop skip and a jump from the ocean. And the going rate is a whapping 20 USD!

Okay, so the beach excites me; tanning the bod, reading a good book and sleeping... but what I'm most excited about is one of our day trips that we're planning. It's to Ream National Park. About half an hour motto ride (apparantly) from Sihanoukville to the...jungle! We're going on a boat tour through the Mangroves to an island where we can go snorkeling around the corral! And yes Crystal, I do recognize that snorkeling involves fish being around me but I'm gonna do it! And we also are going to take a hike through the jungle. I'll be sure to post some pics of our adventure!

love,
Kimmy

untitled.

Hey.

Before I get into the rest of my post I want to share some things that Eileen and I experienced this past weekend.

1. My motto driver Run is OFFICIALLY obsessed with me! He calls me on the weekends, he surprises me when I'm walking down the street with a "free" motto ride down the block, he sits outside our gate so that I HAVE to use him to get to work, AND he has now bought a brand new motto to impress me on the weekends with! It's green, so I think it's nice...E. thinks it's ugly.

2. We met some possible new friends at church. They are Canadians! She's working with Samaritan's Purse and he is an Engineer. I was so excited to talk to them I got a little giggly, loud and overdramatic...needless to say they still wanted our numbers. Yes!

3. And finally, while eating lunch after Church at Boddhi Tree a MASSIVE rat ran right beside my foot! It was probably a foot long, not including the tail!

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Today was Brothel Outreach again. We took a short motto ride through the CRAZY traffic where one of our girl's lives. It seemed like a busy place! The owner of the brothel came and introduced himself to Ruthie and I. He was quite proud of himself and very hospitable to us!

It began raining as soon as we sat down inside on the wooden framed beds. No mattresses. No pillows. Just a mat. All of the children ran outside for a shower! Completely stripped down right infront of us and had a little bit of a wash! Even the Yay's (gramma's) stripped half way naked and cooled off! It was a funny sight. I guess thinking about it; it's a strange thing to sit on a bed with half naked men in a brothel!! Yet it was so normal.

The gramma's are so cute. They all have shaved heads and they have the worst teeth ever! Today they got really close and looked like they wanted to eat me! Don't worry, I got away.

We treated about 30 people today. I had 3 women with serious STI issues, numerous men with gastric reflux, some MAJOR hypertensive women and one girl with an actual perforated ear drum!! We passed out a lot of condoms to the extremely embarassed and also extremely ripped guys and then we were on our way.

Here's a short video of the Tuol Thom Pong market:

love,

Kimmy

A Heart Overflowing.

Update on the last post...the little girl that we lost to the Brothels has RETURNED!! Yay. I was able to give her a thorough assessment and then I sent her to our counsellor. She drew a marvelous pic for me!

Also, sadly the girl who was gang raped is riddled with STI's and the doctors have advised us taht it is better if she aborts. We are also worried she may commit suicide. She has already shared that she tries punching the baby and has thrown herself on her tummy on a chair recently....I am lost in sadness. Please, keep her in your thoughts. I visited her home yesterday so that she can believe we truly care for her. I love her.
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I have been given much! I was born in Dauphin, Manitoba, CANADA; a small town filled with farmers, horsemen and cattlemen...oh, and parogies! I grew up with clean air, food, friends, and family. I learned about hard work on the farm- how to move cattle, how to ride a horse, how to call a kitty, and how to gut a chicken! I learned both pain, disappointment AND forgiveness and love as I grew up as a young little brown eyed girl in my families home.

I was for some reason blessed with a heart overflowing. I've always known that God had a special plan for me. My heart has always physically ached to help this world. Whether it be in Dauphin, reserves in N.Saskatchewan, Vancouver, El Salvador, Peru, Churchill or a hog farm south of WPG. My prayer is that I would see what God sees...and that I would be forever changed. "The heart that breaks open can contain the whole Universe." Joanna Macy.

My spirit was broken this past year and my heart became lost. My desire to act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with my God was nolonger there. I hated the Fruit's of the Spirit. I turned my eyes from God. But God had a bigger plan for me and He wasn't willing to lose this one lost sheep in the millions!

He took me to Peru and reminded me why I became a Nurse-He reminded me of the Passions and gifts that He had chosen for me. He used my love for the children of Peru to bring me out of the darkness. I was given a vision; He was running to find me. He would NOT give up on me!

Then without even knowing why, on a dark, snowy night on a bus bound for Dauphin, departing from Winni, I bolted straight up with the realization that I was going to CAMBODIA. I didn't know what I would do, where I would live, how I would afford it or why I should go there. But God has revealed to me little by little why.

It's b/c of that little girl who was begging on the st. in the rain and without any money I kissed my empty palms and placed them in hers.
It's for that little girl at Daughter's with a snotty nose, and an empty belly who I feed at lunch.
It's for that little boy who was thrust into my arms at the brothel who was on the verge of death who we later were blessed with a hospice AIDS room for.
It's for those motto drivers on the corner who have been financially blessed by us-they can feed their families.
It's for that one Daughter's girl who was raped everynight by her brother in law who we prayed for and she was given a safer place to stay.
And It's for that little boy who I was blessed to feed this past saturday.

it's one child at a time. One patient at a time.
Marilee Dunker, the daughter of the man (don't remember his name) who founded World Vision, said it best at church this last sunday about the injustice in this world; the question isn't what are you gonna do about it, it's WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT IT?

To whom much has been given, much is expected. I have taken that to heart. I now see that it doesn't just mean money, power, or connections...it also means love. I have a heart that loves with a mighty wave...therefore I need to use that love. I need to share that love. (plus, honestly if I didn't...I just might explode...)

I do not know what I will do after this year. But I do know that whether it's in the mountains of Pakistan or in the kitchen with a baby on my hip in Winni- I will love with the Love God has poured into me and I will be thankful.

Gang Rape.

Ahhhh...sometimes it's so much easier to share about life outside of work...away from the difficult decisions and depressing news. Although it's easier to tell you all about the fun, easy, exciting news of street corner shops selling dog's heads, our increasing adventures with local rats, pool side/gym boys with hot bods, or power outages...I really do need to involve you in the tough spots.

The clinic is always a challenge. I've only been a nurse for a short time and if I didn't have Nurse Ruth here to guide my little mind I probably would sit down and explode. period.

Seeing how we diagnose, treat, medicate, refer, and CURE things without a doctor I am learning things that I've never learnt at school...oh, U of M...

Yet there are other aspects beyond what to do when a patient comes in with what you thought was an infected ingrown hair and returns 3 days later with a ghastly edematous neck and an abcess the size of Manhattan! Yes. Or a girl that tried to abort her baby but it continued to grow even though it was poinsoned. (How do I explain that the baby may have been affected?)

There are things of an emotional, spiritual and psychological nature that demand our attention. Such as a new pridicament, if you'd call it that, that I was welcomed into later last night. Boss Ruth asked if Nurse Ruth and I if we would by any means bend the rules on abortion? There is a girl that just started with us. She is from the provinces (they use this word to explain anyone who lives outside of PP) and is new to town with no relatives around...and she was gang raped by NINE men and is now pregnant. Alone. Pregnant. Raped. Traumatized.

Well...this unfortunetly is not a book that you may be reading, or a movie or a dream...this is REALITY. And I am faced with it and I am amongst the ones that have to provide an answer. How the hell can this happen to a poor soul? Nurse Ruth and I had a phone tele conference and both decided that we could not think that aborting this baby would solve her problems. She will be forever scarred by this happening and although it is her decision still, she won't take away the pain by taking away the baby. I am shocked by my view on this actually. At home, I would've hands down given into abortion. I would've seen it as torture to the mom. BUT...there are tons of options here.

We, at the clinic have decided to pay for the births (30.00), so if it is finances that are the problem we would supplement. Also, there are other places like Place of Rescue that she could turn to where they would provide a place to live, give birth and leave the baby in a safe place.
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We've also lost a girl to the sex-trade again. Her mother sold three of this girl's older sisters to be brothel workers and now her. We went to her home to see if we could find her but she is no where to be found. We saw her walking down the street when we were in our tuk tuk's on the way to the AFESIP clinic. She had matured in a blink of an eye. Changed. She was full of hate for us and didn't even acknowledge our waves and greetings. She was hardened.

They use drugs and alcohol in the beginnings to get them hooked. Then it's as if they are in a jail with no walls. They are psychologically trapped.

If you really wish to know how Kimberly's Cambodian Adventure's are going...I honestly have to share ALL of it. The dirty and the joyful.
When you pray for me. Pray for them as well. They need it more then I do.

Love Kimmy Alice.

Beggar Boy

Hi! I thought I would just quickly give you a play by play of our saturday yesterday.

Every Saturday we make our way after our breakfast to Hotel Cambodiana, aka HC, to go to the Physique Club to work our physiques into wonderment! Saturdays are a bit more relaxed at the gym in terms of gym worker boys staring at E. and I the ENTIRE time we work out. No word of a lie; they actually stand right behind our treadmills or behind our bicycles and listen to everything we are saying!! Or as in my case on thursday night; they stand behind you as you lift your measley 3 kg weights and tell you you are pretty while you sweat buckets! I find it gives me a bit more energy to finish my workout;), but E. on the other hand can't wait for Saturdays cause Ronnie and Nuan won't be there (the hot gym boys)...

Okay, so we work out (I've tried doing some chin-ups...yeah, my goal; to actually do a chin up by the end of my life!), then we head to the pool for some rays and some dips. I've gotten used to the birds that flutter around the pool, I'm am quite proud of myself. Word must have gotten around that the Canadian girls LIVE in Phnom Penh because twice we've had the pool side worker boys come up to us while we are IN the pool and try to have a convo with us. Like one boy; he actually said he wanted to put his application form in to be our boyfriends! He asked what our families look for in a husband for us!! Ahhhhh!!! We stay clear of Mr. Application now.

After the pool we had lunch, Khmer style at a store nearby and then we walked till our legs fell off down to St.240. While we were walking a little street/begger boy (around 7 years) came up to us. This is no new event! There are constantly little kids with smaller siblings tagging along behind them asking for money. E. knows how badly I want to give to them but she cheers me on to leave them. If I give them money they will not get it: their parents will. Anyways, this one boy had only pants on, if you'd call them that! They were ripped up the seams on all sides so that it looked like a skirt and they were soaking wet! he also had a burn scar on his stomach probably 4 inches in diameter and another scar on the back of his upper arm about the same size. Because E. doesn't pay them any attention due to their annoying requests for money; they ALWAYS make their way to my side and stay there. Oh! It breaks my heart!

He kept by my side for quite a while. I was able to ask him his name, how old he was, if his scars hurt, etc. He just kept mumbling "nam"...which means food. I felt for this poor little soul so I decided to keep him by my side and buy him some food. That way I would know that HE would get the money I gave him. We walked to a food stand with popcorn and drinks and pointed to see if he wanted popcorn (I couldn't see any place to buy him actually food), he pointed beyond the 'candy' to a family eating in their make-shift little shack. I walked over with him and told them I would pay for him to have some food. Surprisingly they agreed. Khmer people are ussually very mean to children. They hit and yell constantly at them.

I paid 2000 riehls (50 cents) for my dear little follower to fill his tummy with rice and meat and vegetables and water! He was shocked. I paid the money to the woman and the little boy turned around and looked at me with his big eyes and hungry tummy with amazement. He put his hands together in a prayer like they do here and said, "akun", thankyou. I said "mi nigh etey", your welcome and tickled his little armpit to get in there and eat his food! He jumped up the stairs into the house and held his little plate while the woman FILLED it with rice. I watched for a bit to make sure that they actually gave him the food.

To be honest, I had a bit of tears in these berly-kim eyes. I was glad I took the time and the money to give. God bless my boy!

The Brothels Continue...

Hello EVERYONE; to those in the north, in the south, in the east and in the west!! Juum Reep Sua!! It's evening time here right now and it's raining outside...again!!

We, at the clinic, have decided because of our lack of funding that we have to stretch out our "brothel outreach"days to once every two weeks. Although we were able to visit a brothel community in need of medical attention this past monday. We went with one of the girls from the centre who lives amongst and used to work in the brothels. We walked along the river and under bridges and around shanty homes and around chickens and inbetween buildings and finally found our way through a narrow passageway to a brothel. Sometimes I can't even tell which ones are brothels or just homes. It's not like the girls stand out on the corner like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman! (sigh...I love that movie) There are no high boots or blonde wigs. There are just girls, with dirty skin and normal faces. Girls that think it's just normal to do what they have to do.

You can spot easily some brothels though. Usually the ones with long corridors and multiple rooms off the hallways with only beds in them are the more obvious ones...like the one I visited in Svay Pak. Our girl proudly introduced us to the girls and we got down to business (no pun intended!). Vitamins, de-wormers, amoxicillin, STI meds and....CONDOMS were mainly given out this time(which they grabbed with a shy smile!). They were very thankful which made me so happy too. There are two brothers, about 11 and 13 who come to the Daughter's school. They followed us from the centre even though they were seriously advised not too and became our Bag Carriers...they were so cute sitting right beside the women as they talked about discharge, itch or failed home abortions! Acutally, to be honest...these boys are a bit fruity and dainty (if you know what i mean) Which makes me feel more protective of them!!

I have a sense of gratitude when I walk into their worlds. Like I'm the lucky, priviledged one who is blessed to visit such a place. Out of so many westerners, I am the one that they trust enough to speak of their attrocities with and accept medicine from!! I try to soak it up. So I can hash it all out in my mind and heart later. I feel like I am walking into their community with the feet of God Herself: eventhough that is COMPLETELY the most cheesiest thing I've ever heard or said...it's so freaking true, I just have to say it! Uhhh, I annoy myself sometimes!!

We had our first birth this week too! It was a baby girl and the mama wished to keep her! We visited her in the hospital to see she was getting the care she should (we took some girls to the dentist on monday morning and they refused to treat them: b/c they were ex-sex workers...I was spitting mad!) and also pay for the delivery (20 dollars for the birth and 10 for the nurses bribes!) I was shocked by the size of her episiotomy: 4th degree for sure (for those nurses in the crowd). Apologies to the qweezy ones in the crowd!

Here's a video of me "showing off" my clinic. Let's just say as a prepatory suggestion: don't judge my growing brunnette roots, try not to be annoyed with my hand gestures and forgive the bum/gitch show!! (Mall and Shawna should be VERY accustomed to the gitch show! I am repeatedly told that they hang out....sorry!?)
Oh, and the t-shirt I'm sporting in the video is one of the designs that FREED, the t-shirt business, created that the girls run from Daughter's.

The market encounter.

I'm reading a book right now of a ladies life as she grew up in Cambodia and in the sex trade. As I read and learn about my own Daughter's of Cambodia, I feel forever affected. I feel a deep sadness straight into my spirit. Like a sword, I feel it rip me in two. I cry for them and I find myself crying for myself. For my past; and for my family.

This Sunday at the market a man followed me. I didn't know he was. There are men constantly staring and talking amongst themselves. It is quite normal. I didn't see that the man was following me until IT happened.

I was purchasing a typical Cambodian tourist shirt; something about Anit-Landmines written across the front (typical Kim Foster purchase choice;)) when I felt a hand smack my bum. I lept with surprise. I was shocked. I turned around to see who it was but found no one that I could possibly pin point amongst the hundreds that apparantly felt the need to do such a thing to me. I told E. what had happened. But we both dismissed it as a Frustratingly Immature Act.

So I continued on. A bit dismayed but a bit more like I was to blame. "My Coral colored skirt (Lulu one) did hug my bum and reveal my shape", I thought to myself. I thought sheepishly that I had attracted the unwanted attraction.

Not more then 5 minutes later the man returned. He must have followed me b/c as I turned myself to face a wall of merchandise I felt a hand grope me (not my bum this time...) I jumped and with tears and a hot face I ran for the exit. Apparantly E. had not heard my words and did not come for me. So I sat outside and waited for her to follow me. All I could see in my mind was his dark face and green shirt.

We later had lunch down the way and talked of other things. But while we walked away memories of other similar instances of older men flooded my memory who had attempted and succeeded to hurt me in similar ways. My stomach was nautious.

All I can think of is how more horrendous the things that my dear sister's here in Cambodia have been through in their struggle to gain their own self respect in a vocation that is primarily targeting their bodies as useless pleasure toys. It saddens me but also enrages me. I feel more a part of these girls now then I ever have before.

Whispers by; K.Foster

I sit and I watch and I listen
and as I sit and I watch and I listen, I remember.
and as I remember, I cry.
I remember my debtors, my shame, my dirty messes. My unclean mouth. My mistakes and my misses.
And as I remember and cry, I begin to believe I am lost.

Softly, a still small voice whispers.
Using the wind and Science and Molecules and Atoms:
it whispers a whisper that enters through my ear and straight to my heart;
"You have remembered wrong.
You have Forgotten of my forgiving Grace.
and My blanket of Love.
You have forgotten Me. And the miracle I have made in you.
Now go and forget no more.
Go and Love."

(I would request no comments on this blog please.)

Ace Ventura and Pedro...

Have you ever had a thought or memory enter your mind like days after it happened and it still makes you laugh? It has been happening to me A LOT here. And usually the thought comes to me when I shouldn't be laughing...

For instance; Eileen and I are sitting in church. Right beside Gramma (Marie Ens; the Place of Rescue founder) in the middle of the rows and chairs during a serious message. The Pastor Dude calls up three boys to visualize what he's trying to get across...something about our spirits, minds and bodies. Anyways, that's not the funny part; so we're sitting there and the man is talking away and I'm taking a good look at these boys (it's not that i'm checking them out. no, i do that after church;) seriously though I was a tad bored so it was refreshing to have new faces on stage) And suddenly I realize as soon as I stare at the last boy for a bit that he reminds me of someone...Pedro from Nepolian Dynnamite! I burst out laughing. Like the real embarrassing kind; sort of like the time LJ burst out laughing at a certain someone's funeral!!! Eileen kept asking me what I was laughing at but the more I tried to calm myself down the more I would laugh. Gramma even had to lean over and see what was so funny! ahhh...yes....he was Pedro to the tee; his mouth, his hair and his posture. Too funny. How did I calm myself down? I thought of puppies dying. yes. I am morbid.

One more example of things that make me laugh still;
Okay, so you all know about my moto driver Run, right? Well, somedays our other moto driver Td'ill, the one I have a medium crush on, isn't around! I know, it's sad. Well, anyways we have to find some else to take dear Big EZ (aka Eileen Davidson) which is never a problem. Really! They flock to us like a bug to a lamp. So Eileen has somehow made a new moto driver out of this guy that Run knows; and he looks exactly like Jim Carrey's character from Ace Ventura Pet Detective! It's halarious. Everytime we're driving I look back to see if Eileen hasn't been left behind or something more horrendous and all I see is this dude driving her with these awful buck teeth inside this mouth that is permanently open in the most halarious way and he smiles this geeky smile that almost makes me feel a little bad for him! I laugh, of course, which makes him laugh, which makes me laugh more!! Ahhh, yes. The joys of moto drives by funny looking men.

There, two things that go through my mind on a regular basis that crack me up still. I realize that you probably won't find them as funny seeing how you sort of had to be there...but still...it's worth the share.

And really, I don't have much more to share other then the fact that our power went out at 8:10 pm and took with it our Air Con, fans and lighting....and it's still not on! And it's freakin' 9:34 am right now. That means that two nights in a row we had to sleep buck just to survive!

Our fridge is officially the same temperature as the rest of our house. I had actually fallen asleep in the midst of the heat until Eileen thought it would be a good idea to wake me up and make me go and try and flip the breakers! Yeah, I tried. I even killed a few cockroaches while I was at it! But to no avail...

Love the permanent pit stain lady,
me!