I'm freakin' 24 years old!!

How goes it? It's hot and I'm sweaty and it hasn't rained for at least 2 days!! I hope it rains tonight, so we can get a cool down again. My sunburn is burning me alive!!

I'm getting a bit anxious. You see, Nurse Ruth is leaving for her lovely Britain in March and well, I'm not; I'm staying. So that means; I'll be on my own. Nurse Ruth says in the New Year she would like to hand over the Clinic Reigns to me so that I can get used to doing EVERYTHING!!! That means I have to be on top of it all. Referrals for STD's, HIV testing lists, restocking the meds, education clinics, finances, pregnancies, adoptions, brothel outreach days and everything single being that enters my clinic with whatever illness they present with is my responsibility!!

What do I think about this?

Well, it brings up a couple different responses in this ol' Berly heart of mine;

1. AHHHHH!!! Yay!!! I'm super excited! It's what I've always dreamt of doing. It's a rocking opportunity to be stretched and I get to make it my little baby. I can do with it what I want. And wow, the amazing things I'll learn. I definitely will be able to work North Main in Winni when I get back.

2. AHHHHHH!! Oh no!! I'm Kimmy, not some Primary Care Nurse Extravaganza! What the hell was she thinking?? I come from Dauphin. My biceps look like inserted sausages! I sleep with my teddy- Blue Bear still!!? I'm freakin' 24 years old!

So, yeah, that pretty much wraps it up!! sigh...

Okay, so obviously Nurse Ruth sees some quiet potential in this girl...I'll trust her.

We've been working on figuring out some numbers. We need sponsors. That's what it comes down to. Let me list our needs, in financial dollars:

Dental $5-10 (that's getting a tooth extracted)
Optician $20+ (eye testing and eye glass fitting)
H20 filters $10 (filter per family that will last for a very long time; like a BRITA)
Pregnancy/delivery $30 (covers one ultrasound and 20 bucks for popping it out)
Meds per month $100 (covers everything from tylenol to STD antibiotics)
HIV testing $5 dollars for 6 girls (transporation costs. the testing is free for brothel girls)

It's piddly money but it's humongous money here from these girls perspectives. Just think about it, ok? I'm going to try and get in contact with different companies from CANADA, like Corydon Dental, or Eye Deal EyeWear, or maybe a nice Pharmacist;)

I'm also thinking a lot about what the girls will do when both Nurse Ruth and I leave. What will remain of our hard work? Welllll,.....I've seen first hand what education can do. It IS the answer to poverty and racism and well, the list goes on. So, I've made a list of many many many many different things I'd like to teach them. So that when we leave they've got a small handle on some things. IE. Infections, contraceptives, reproduction, nutrition, dental care, eye care, when to seek help, how to dress a wound, bacteria, antenatal and postnatal care of infant and mommy. I'm excited with a capital E!

Some ponderings to end the night:

I sit and I watch
Right on the top of this pile
I listen and I learn
While you're being buried before you've died; With dirt from my shoes in your mouth.
Oh, but can I help at all?
Oh, but do I help at all?
But still.....Would you let me save you?

Although all I have are empty hands
And all that i have are ugly scars myself
The children still sing for help
What can I do?
But still.....Would you let me save you?

I sit and I watch
And I'm screaming inside
When there's nothing more I can do.
When I can't seem to help at all
What then do I hear?
What then do I learn?

When there's nothing more I can say
When there's nothing more I can do-
Then the magic which lies behind runs ahead!
And the Crimson Red linings of our souls
make way
with words to say
with more to do- a way!
There I see I am saving you
And you are saving me
We are saved
By the Grace that dances 'round by the Crimson Red
We are saved.

Love your Buttercup,
Kimmy Alice