Life...

I've had a very busy week and it's not even Friday yet!

A couple from Toronto came to Phnom Penh this week with their organization (i seem to not recall the correct name at this time) called Health Ministry International (?). Ken Gamble is a doctor and his wife Linda is a nurse. (They look and act like Aunty Wilma and Uncle Ken. Ken is maybe a bit less animated then uncle ken but Linda looks like aunty wilma and acts like her too. And is just as encouraging!! She even cries easy like Aunty Wilma!!) They've worked in remote areas in Africa and Pakistan and have a heart for assisting missionaries that are out and about in their environments. They came to PP to do just that; to minister to the ones ministering! And guess what? I was on their list of VIP to see!!!

I went with them to the CSI hospital to have a "chat" with the doctor(s) about the health challenges in Cambodia. I found it overwhelming and also encouraging. I missed talking with other health professionals. Hearing the health jargon, discussing the issues I face as well and to be in, what felt like, a REAL hospital!! A pharmacist, a nurse, a physiotherapist and all those other people that make our lives as a health professional easier. ie. Team partners.

I realized then how alone I am. And it allowed me to take a deep breath and pat myself on the back...because i finally saw why i feel tired and exhausted. And why I feel overwhelmed...I don't have anyone to partner with. Ruthie is gone. And I bless her journey, but that leaves me without a vent system.

I do need to tell you all that I have a "helper nurse"with me now. She is older. I'm not sure exactly how old. But she graduated in 1965 from Nursing and had a family shortly after and left the health industry until....now! So...it's been a bit different to get used to me teaching the new fish. And it's a lot more tiring then Ruthie let on when I first came. I am still unsure where she's going to fit in the clinic b/c of her lack of up to date skills or abilities. I am trying to have patience...

Today was one of those days as a nurse where your wall of "professional compassion" for some reason crumbles and you just can't help but break down emotionally and be affected deeply by their story. I keep an emotionally healthy wall up so that I don't break down emotionally with everyone...but sometimes they get around that wall...

It was the usual story: mother of 2 young ones. She's aged 24. Lives with her mother and sister and is the main financial support. She's pregnant again by a man that she thought would stick around to help her out financially but he has gone. She shared with me that she doesn't eat some days b/c they have no food, no money. She sacrifices for her children. She sacrifices her food.

I've seen her around a lot. She looks spaced out all the time. I thought it might be drugs but I think it's sheer exhaustion. She told me about how she wanted to breast feed with each pregnancy but her milk only came for 1 month. I think b/c of her lack of nutrients from food, she is unable to provide a milk supply. Her body just doesn't have anything else to give.

I sat there. Stunned. Emotionally spent. My shoulders slumped down, my eyes fell to the floor, i let out a sigh...
I gave her multivitamins, calcium/vit D, and iron. I told her the importance of eating healthy but it came down to the money. There just wasn't any. Her sister lent some money to a friend and when her friend had no money to pay her back, she ran away. Now her sister is left with her friend's debts. And because my client financially supports her sister, she is paying for the debt of her sister's friend...200 dollars!!! When you don't even have 10 cents to rub together, 200 dollars seems like 200 000 dollars!!

What could I do?!!

In the Bible it says, "This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends." (The Message)

I would do anything for this girl. I wanted to so badly switch places with her. I would put my life on the line for her...I loved her so much it ached inside.

What could I do?!!

Nothing. I could do nothing but pray. I knew that she's given a great salary with short hours here at Daughter's. Just like the other girls, she has to take what we CAN give and make of it something useful for her future. She has to be proactive in her life. She has an awesome opportunity working with us at Daughter's. She isn't alone. She has a way. We just need to point her in that direction.

I tried to be very professional and say the right words at first. My translator spoke every word I said in Khmer to her. I tried to keep it together but I couldn't. I spoke one word; "Lord." And the tears started coming. My nose started running. And I felt a need to be transparent. As I cried to the God of the heavens, as I knelt on my knees beside this poor pregnant soul, as I felt the weight of her struggles physically on my own shoulders, as I felt unworthy to even be the one requesting these miracles; I didn't care. I just lifted my prayers to Him. Because I had no one else to turn to.

I told God that I didn't know what to do. I cried for a miracle. For the jars of rice to be plentiful. For each kernel to be stretched. Like the jars of oil in the bible...I prayed that the food she would eat to be blessed so that that small amount would nourish her...

As I struggled through a cracked and weak voice, I heard her sniffles beginning. She saw my pain and she knew that I was crying b/c I was affected by her pain, I had heard her and I was standing with her. I was standing in Solidarity. I was her friend. I knew her struggles. She was not alone.

I would ask that you hold this beautiful woman in prayer with me. Her children are 9 months and 2 years and she is due in August. Pray for God's hand in her life. Pray that she would see that her only hope is God her Father.

Thank the Lord for a center and NGO like Daughter's of Cambodia!! They provide a salary, a clean and safe place to work with staff who are loving and understanding. They provide free daycare for their children and offer a housing space for anyone who really needs it next door in the shelter. Also they are allowed free counseling and health care. Numerous workshops are put on to educate the girls re: budgeting, health, love, forgiveness, and hope in Jesus Christ. Without this place of work they would be destitute. It's easy to see this woman's story and think all is lost...but it's not. She's entering into a phase in her life that offers a way out. I can't wait to see what working at Daughter's will do for her future!! There is amazing opportunities and I will continue to encourage her to take advantage of them!