Now that I have seen. I am responsible.

Flights are booked. Luggage is semi in order. Gifts purchased. Months completed.

I'm so excited to be home. To sit on a chesterfield and eat crap food. I'm so excited to hug and suffocate my nephews with kisses! I'm so excited to see my family and walk the gravel roads with my sister.

Although it's amazingly exciting...it's crazy surreal.

11 months: July 21, 2008 - July 1st, 2009.

I have to stop myself though from wasting these last few days of Cambodia on Canadian longings. My mind racing to the airport. To the prairie smells. To the tears. To the human touches. Eye contact.

I've learned lessons beyond my wildest expectations. I'm filled to the rims with memories, sights, flashbacks...I'm forever indebted to Cambodia. For the love it threw at me and the relationships we built together. Yet I also feel a very heavy responsibility to share truthfully what i've seen and learned. It to me seems like a serious job. As Brooke Fraser sings; "Now that I have seen, I am responsible". I guess I'm trying to figure out what that means for me.

Many people are asking: "So, when will you be coming back to Cambodia?" ummm...well I guess I don't know. I kind of think I need to just take a rest from trying to overload my brain to make such a commitment yet. I just want my Mom people!!!

I must end with saying thank you for reading and sticking along through the rough patches. I'm very lucky to have friends who were able to read along and not get bored out of their minds! I've gone through some changes in my faith this year. And I hesitated sharing any "religious" words. Yet I knew if I wanted to remain genuine and true to myself i had to say what i was thinking...and i knew i couldn't please both sides. Some may say I used some Christian jargon this year...i think that may be because it's difficult to explain sometimes what kind of journey we're on...how do you put faith into words?

Just remember people that just because some gorgeous lady like myself gets up and moves half way across the world doesn't make them a hero or an angel. I'm still who I am. A freckled faced girl who actually likes cigarettes now and then!

Thanks. peace out.
kimbo-rimbo-simbo-ronk.