Hmmm....
I've realized after my very beautiful and kind friend of mine (!) brought to my attention, that I am bringing a skewed view of Daughter's of Cambodia. I agree with her.
I want you all to know that Daughter's has made leaps and bounds since it's infancy as an NGO working in the brothels of a poor area of Phnom Penh! Starting out with Ruth and her husband driving to brothels to invite the girls to come for the day to visit, paint, and learn a trade...has snowballed into a major NGO with major achievements and major amounts of change in the lives of those they minister to!
I seem to be a bit distraught lately...as I muddle over my latest blog entries I realize how narrow my scope of Daughter's is. I enter into my little clinic and stay there...not realizing that possibly the reason behind all my depressing thoughts working with these women is b/c i deal with the sick, and do not usually see the changes in those who were sick!! Usually a healthy girl with happiness won't just drop in to the clinic just to say thank you or prove that her life has improved. Just doesn't really happen.
Do you understand?
I want you all to know that my eyes do not only see sadness, pain, trauma....no! My eyes see new moms bringing their tiny babies to work everyday...and these babies have a safe, clean place to thrive!! I see little kids getting love, attention and vitamins daily when they visit! I see girls learning a trade, earning good money working in a clean place. Money that is earned respectably and with honor.
I see women come to me in pain and after I refer them to our counselling staff, she comes out with a goal, a dream, a plan, a hope! I see girls who had no hope in hell and have come up to earth again! Living again!!
One of the counsellors at Daughter's just did a psychological assessment on a girl that has worked for us for about a year. The woman was asked about her previous situation before Daughter's and to compare it to after she was given employment. She stated that her depression and anxiety and her worthlessness has decreased drastically!! She said that she beats her children less, her use of alcohol has decreased 100 percent, her hope for the future is tangible! She sees how Daughter's has assisted her and I am so thankful for that.
So, you see. The evidence is there! I just need to take the time out of my crazy wired brain to not just focus on the awful. Sure, those things will happen to these girls seeing where they live or what they deal with at home. BUT there are happy changes and lives that have been turned around. I see it!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Speak out for those who cannot speak, for the rights of all the destitute. Speak out, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy. - P
So the week is over...and I have a good story to tell!
On Thursday one of our counselors came to me with a story of a little 1 year old boy she noticed while doing a home visit to one of our very poor communities surrounding our center, many of our girls live there...
She found him alone. When she asked about him the girls told her that he was abandoned a couple months ago. His father is in jail and his mother works in the brothels and had run off on him. Amazingly though, the girls from our center take turns having him in their tiny, poor little homes!
They pass him around with care. Feeding him with what they have and washing him when they can. He lives permanently with an old woman who can only afford to fill his little bottle with water and sweetened condensed milk! As you can imagine, his growth has been stunted...
The counselor asked me if she could bring in the boy and have me look him over. Well, of course, i said!!!
He was very flaccid. Short torso. Enlarged lymph glands. Chest infection. Bug bites. Bruising. Look liked a 6 months old...not a one year old! Everyone said he didn't have a name...he was known just as the baby...
I spoke to my boss, Ruth, about him. After a quick discussion she and her husband decided to take him home with them for the weekend. He will be fed and bathed and loved!! Then after contacting the father in jail for legal rights we will have him placed in a Khmer home with loving parents. We are in contact with a woman who runs an adoption agency with families who can't have children.
Shortly after I did my assessment we had our regular friday worship time. The little boy was passed around from mommy to mommy. Some women who saw that he was going to be cared for by Ruth and Samuel, started to cry. I was amazed at their love for this little boy and i publicly in church thanked them for their compassion. I told them that their actions have not gone un noticed! That jesus sees and is pleased...that when Jesus spoke about feeding and clothing him when he was sick or hungry...that this is what he meant.
I was so happy!
As I stood outside the center with the girls and laughed together while I held the little boy, we all decided he needed a name. A little girl; dirty, poor, and full of head lice (!) looked at the little boy. She said very matter of factly that his name will be RATANAK!! And she told me b/c it means treasure! Oh how precious!
So, Brian and The Ratanak Foundation should be very pleased to know that we now have our own little Ratanak; our own little treasure...
I think God has answered my prayers; For a happy story. For a hopeful glimpse...
On Thursday one of our counselors came to me with a story of a little 1 year old boy she noticed while doing a home visit to one of our very poor communities surrounding our center, many of our girls live there...
She found him alone. When she asked about him the girls told her that he was abandoned a couple months ago. His father is in jail and his mother works in the brothels and had run off on him. Amazingly though, the girls from our center take turns having him in their tiny, poor little homes!
They pass him around with care. Feeding him with what they have and washing him when they can. He lives permanently with an old woman who can only afford to fill his little bottle with water and sweetened condensed milk! As you can imagine, his growth has been stunted...
The counselor asked me if she could bring in the boy and have me look him over. Well, of course, i said!!!
He was very flaccid. Short torso. Enlarged lymph glands. Chest infection. Bug bites. Bruising. Look liked a 6 months old...not a one year old! Everyone said he didn't have a name...he was known just as the baby...
I spoke to my boss, Ruth, about him. After a quick discussion she and her husband decided to take him home with them for the weekend. He will be fed and bathed and loved!! Then after contacting the father in jail for legal rights we will have him placed in a Khmer home with loving parents. We are in contact with a woman who runs an adoption agency with families who can't have children.
Shortly after I did my assessment we had our regular friday worship time. The little boy was passed around from mommy to mommy. Some women who saw that he was going to be cared for by Ruth and Samuel, started to cry. I was amazed at their love for this little boy and i publicly in church thanked them for their compassion. I told them that their actions have not gone un noticed! That jesus sees and is pleased...that when Jesus spoke about feeding and clothing him when he was sick or hungry...that this is what he meant.
I was so happy!
As I stood outside the center with the girls and laughed together while I held the little boy, we all decided he needed a name. A little girl; dirty, poor, and full of head lice (!) looked at the little boy. She said very matter of factly that his name will be RATANAK!! And she told me b/c it means treasure! Oh how precious!
So, Brian and The Ratanak Foundation should be very pleased to know that we now have our own little Ratanak; our own little treasure...
I think God has answered my prayers; For a happy story. For a hopeful glimpse...
Thursday, March 26, 2009
How come?
I've been trying to figure out lately how to cope with all these sad stories...
These past 2 weeks have been riddled with TRAGIC happenings. I had a girl come to me last week with major domestic violence injuries. Her husband bit her...yes, bit her with his teeth. It was so awful to sit there and assess her wounds and realize that he did this with his teeth! Her fingers, her wrists, her nose, her lips...bruised and cut by his teeth.
So...what did I do? Well, we jumped in a tuk tuk and went to a couple NGO's that deal with domestic violence and women's empowerment. They advised her to go to the police. So we did. And it was the most depressing and maddening thing ever! They pretty much laughed at the girl with her bruises and black eyes. They made her feel small and belittled the abuse. About 4 men stood around us as we sat in plastic chairs in a room with spider webs, cockroaches and dusty tables. They stood around and stared us down. I felt so small and insignificant. One police officer came up to me and with crossed arms, asked me how old i was. Um?! What?!! I wanted to burst into tears and run away. But I was so angry at him that i answered in Khmer and stared him down with no smile, no tears....I didn't want to give him the power...i couldn't let him see me cry.
The abused girl is now living with her sister and comes to work everyday. Her bruises are fading and her smile comes more often. I'm so glad she's ok...
This week we found out a little girl that regularily comes to the center, approximently 12 years old, was almost raped by her father. She now lives in our night shelter and is going through counselling at Licadho, the NGO that helped us with the other girl.
Then E. and I were awoken in our sleep at 3:30 am by the sounds of fighting outside our house. A man was kicking and punching a girl. She was screaming...we woke to her cries. The man ran off on his motto and left her in a pile on the ground. I wanted to run to her to grab her and bring her to my bed...but E. stopped me. I need to be careful and others were there to help her...
It's sometimes difficult for me to see not only the one girl out of the 60 who is hurt, lost, hungry or alone. It's hard for me to work in a health care situation where only SICK girls come to me. This creates an unrealistic view of Daughter's. This narrow tunnel of vision makes me think nothing good is happening. But it is! Amazing changes are occurring in the lives of these girls. Long term changes, that affect their children, their husbands and themselves. So...when you hear me speak of the sadness....know that there is happiness too! Lot's of it!
Like yesterday; I was so happy when three pregnant wonders knocked on my clinic door b/c they were worried about their friend. She was experiencing some false labor pains yesterday and her friends wanted me to ask Ruth, our boss, if she could give out her pay before payday to pay for the delivery! I was so happy that they were coming to me! They obviously cared about their friend AND felt empowered enough to come on her behalf!!! It meant the world to me to sit in a circle with these women and see them care and advocate on their friends behalf!!
I guess I'm learning that sad stuff happens, but that slowly but surely change is coming...
I asked God today how He copes with this stuff. How does He make sense of the awful stories of pain? How does He muddle through or make sense of the pain when I only see one girl and He sees the entire world?
These past 2 weeks have been riddled with TRAGIC happenings. I had a girl come to me last week with major domestic violence injuries. Her husband bit her...yes, bit her with his teeth. It was so awful to sit there and assess her wounds and realize that he did this with his teeth! Her fingers, her wrists, her nose, her lips...bruised and cut by his teeth.
So...what did I do? Well, we jumped in a tuk tuk and went to a couple NGO's that deal with domestic violence and women's empowerment. They advised her to go to the police. So we did. And it was the most depressing and maddening thing ever! They pretty much laughed at the girl with her bruises and black eyes. They made her feel small and belittled the abuse. About 4 men stood around us as we sat in plastic chairs in a room with spider webs, cockroaches and dusty tables. They stood around and stared us down. I felt so small and insignificant. One police officer came up to me and with crossed arms, asked me how old i was. Um?! What?!! I wanted to burst into tears and run away. But I was so angry at him that i answered in Khmer and stared him down with no smile, no tears....I didn't want to give him the power...i couldn't let him see me cry.
The abused girl is now living with her sister and comes to work everyday. Her bruises are fading and her smile comes more often. I'm so glad she's ok...
This week we found out a little girl that regularily comes to the center, approximently 12 years old, was almost raped by her father. She now lives in our night shelter and is going through counselling at Licadho, the NGO that helped us with the other girl.
Then E. and I were awoken in our sleep at 3:30 am by the sounds of fighting outside our house. A man was kicking and punching a girl. She was screaming...we woke to her cries. The man ran off on his motto and left her in a pile on the ground. I wanted to run to her to grab her and bring her to my bed...but E. stopped me. I need to be careful and others were there to help her...
It's sometimes difficult for me to see not only the one girl out of the 60 who is hurt, lost, hungry or alone. It's hard for me to work in a health care situation where only SICK girls come to me. This creates an unrealistic view of Daughter's. This narrow tunnel of vision makes me think nothing good is happening. But it is! Amazing changes are occurring in the lives of these girls. Long term changes, that affect their children, their husbands and themselves. So...when you hear me speak of the sadness....know that there is happiness too! Lot's of it!
Like yesterday; I was so happy when three pregnant wonders knocked on my clinic door b/c they were worried about their friend. She was experiencing some false labor pains yesterday and her friends wanted me to ask Ruth, our boss, if she could give out her pay before payday to pay for the delivery! I was so happy that they were coming to me! They obviously cared about their friend AND felt empowered enough to come on her behalf!!! It meant the world to me to sit in a circle with these women and see them care and advocate on their friends behalf!!
I guess I'm learning that sad stuff happens, but that slowly but surely change is coming...
I asked God today how He copes with this stuff. How does He make sense of the awful stories of pain? How does He muddle through or make sense of the pain when I only see one girl and He sees the entire world?
Monday, March 23, 2009
Tears of the Saints
The Way of Love
1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
8-10Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJjg1Joag_0Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Happy Birthday Eileen!
Today is Eileen's birthday. This past Saturday Charlotte, Eileen and myself went to Hotel Le Royale. This is a picture from outside the hotel. It was very fancy!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
MIA
Hey, just wanted to quickly say that I've been missing in action as of late and apparently people have been worried....
no need!!
My close Khmer friend here in Cambodia has been having a rough time related to his father suffering from an aneurysm in his brain. His father had the aneurysm on February 1st and recently died on March 1st. I was able to be there for the family and offer my medical advice and comfort to the mother and to my friend.
I am learning so much about Buddhist culture as the funeral and such are Buddhist. It is scary to me. The differences. The fear. The lack of hope that the family feels. It is a 100 day mourning period and yesterday morning the father's body was burned at the pagoda/Wat.
It was very sad and distressing seeing how the family watched his body burning....I love my friend so much and I see him as a brother...which makes it more hard for me to see him losing his father at the age of 21 years.
I have had many people die that were close to me or close to someone I know, in the past 3 weeks. A man who farmed near our farm in Manitoba died of Cancer, my close friend's mother died also of cancer in B.C., now my Khmer friend's father died of an aneurysm and just yesterday one of my patients who was 4 months pregnant with twins lost her babies....
I am exhausted.
no need!!
My close Khmer friend here in Cambodia has been having a rough time related to his father suffering from an aneurysm in his brain. His father had the aneurysm on February 1st and recently died on March 1st. I was able to be there for the family and offer my medical advice and comfort to the mother and to my friend.
I am learning so much about Buddhist culture as the funeral and such are Buddhist. It is scary to me. The differences. The fear. The lack of hope that the family feels. It is a 100 day mourning period and yesterday morning the father's body was burned at the pagoda/Wat.
It was very sad and distressing seeing how the family watched his body burning....I love my friend so much and I see him as a brother...which makes it more hard for me to see him losing his father at the age of 21 years.
I have had many people die that were close to me or close to someone I know, in the past 3 weeks. A man who farmed near our farm in Manitoba died of Cancer, my close friend's mother died also of cancer in B.C., now my Khmer friend's father died of an aneurysm and just yesterday one of my patients who was 4 months pregnant with twins lost her babies....
I am exhausted.
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