Made from Dust

I've been thinking a lot lately about the "Better-then-you" fight that we all seem to be in. The "I'm prettier- fitter- taller- leaner- brighter- smarter- and more 'better' then you" fight.

I know I'm guilty of this mentality. The idea that I have to beat someone else and the constant comparing and judging that we have to do in order to decide who's better.

I think this fight has trickled into the church. The need to have our skirts always ironed, our Bibles always ready, our "Amen's" proudly audible. We've become addicted to perfection. And this places our worth in our ability to quote the scriptures eloquently, to win at a game of Bible pursuit, to know who Mephibosheth is and if we don't...then we soon should! We think we're the only ones wrestling to stay afloat. And honesty is thrown out the window.
The opposite then occurs: our hate for the sick, the ugly, the incapable, the smelly, the "un-saved" or the...sinner.

Yet Jesus never fed into any of this. He went against the grains of humanity and found solace in the house of the tax collectors, drank water from the wells of prostitutes, friendship with the poor fishermen. He didn't sit and entertain kings or prance around in lively colored gowns. He loved. He loved the ones no one dared look at.

He whispers that kind of love still today and reaches out His arms to the

wounded, blind, sick, marginalized, dirty, deformed, homosexual, AIDS victims, pro-choice, sexually perverse, wicked, slow, despicable, addicted, uneducated, liberal, communist, dark skinned, jailed, ugly and sinful...

Why is it we feel uncomfortable with these kinds of people? Where did this mentality begin that "we're different/better" from them? And most importantly, where the idea come from that these people aren't the ones that we should welcome into our churches? Since when are we ever better then anyone else?

Jesus calls us to let go of our judgement stones and forgive them. To realize that grace is for all. The scale is equal.

John Stott- an interpretation of Matthew 25 by a homeless women:

I was hungry and you formed a humanities group to discuss my hunger.
I was imprisoned and you crept off quietly to your church and prayed for my release.
I was naked and in your mind you debated the morality of my appearance.
I was sick and you knelt and thanked God for your health.
I was homeless and you preached to me of the spiritual shelter of the love of God.
I was lonely and you left me alone to pray for me.
You seem so holy, so close to God,
but I am still very hungry - and lonely - and cold.
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Don't worry...

God remembers we are made from dust; That we make constant mistakes.

He remembers and yet still believes that the greatest among His loves is us.

"A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves." (Lao-Tzu)

Does the compassionate life not demand that we be present to those who suffer; does it not require that we enter into solidarity with the poor, oppressed, and downtrodden; does it not motivate us both to move into the thick of life and to experience the hardships of existence in solidarity with the outcasts?

- Henri Nouwen,
Compassion: A Reflection on the Christian Life


I am seeking to be such an individual who is entirely loving so as others see me as a person to confide in and not hide from.

Frisco 3

This week I was able to access 48 cans of powder baby formula for ages 1-3 years!!

This has come at such a pivotal time as many of my "younger/cuter" clients have been ill with diarrhea due to their diet of rice water.

I ventured across the city in a tuk tuk with Dinet and Nancy, the older nurse volunteer to an NGO called RiverKids. They work with street kids who live along the river (as the name implies) and provide free schooling, showers, lice treatment, meals and vocational training). Daughters partners with the group Chab Dai (sp?) which works with sexually exploited or at risk children and women. RiverKids were donated 1000's of dollars in baby formula this month that will expire by March 1, 2009. They emailed all the Chab Dai partners to offer us our own bit of this amazing donation!!

We rushed the 48 cans home and treated them like gold. I quickly emptied the boxes and made a pyramid of the cans on my clinic desk. The pic is of my translator, Dinet, and I trying to decide a way to give them out to our mothers who work with us without causing a stampede or fist fight. I looked through the girls charts and wrote down every girl who had a child between the ages of 6 months to 3 years. 17 girls!!!

I called the girls down and filed them into my hallway just outside the clinic. I hushed them all and began to tell them that something exciting has just happened. Their conversations halted and all their eyes were on me. I told them that on the other side of the door was a gift for all of them that would give a healthier future to their children. I told them that we all had to be very respectful and quiet. I reminded some of them of their requests for formula this week and also of many of their sick children. I told them that we had received a donation of 48 cans of formula for them to use for their children.

I informed them that even though some of them had more then one child between the specified ages that they would only receive one can like the rest who have only one child. I informed them that if they finish their can that they need to return with the empty can in order to receive another can. I also very seriously (!) told them that this formula was in no way to be sold or bartered. That they needed to know how wonderful this was for their child's health. And if I found out that one of them had sold their can that I would be very sad and disappointed. (great way to lay on the guilt, huh?)

Oh was there ever a party in the clinic that afternoon. Pictures, hugs, smiles, songs and babies flew around the room!!

It was one of the happiest days of my life!

This being said, i am very hesitant to hand out formula unless a donation has come in. It promotes mothers to stop breastfeeding and also creates an unhealthy relationship with me and causes dependency to remain the number one problem in the clinic. I pray that these cans will give their children a head start (or a catch up) and i hope that i will find ways and strength to explain i can't keep giving...

The weather today...

Today's High: Today's Low:

36º C 20º C

The Gentler Sex

Every minute 1 woman dies from a problem related to pregnancy.

Every year 75,000 women die from unsafe abortions.

Two thirds of the women around the world are poor.

That oughta get your attention!!

Women's Health:

Sure I'm a woman, I guess, but it's completely different to be in charge of 50-75 women's health. It's been my life for the past 7 months! I'm learning things about what these girls, these women, are faced with every day. The clinic received a textbook/book from a YWAM group called, "Where Women Have No Doctor." I've been reading it like mad this past week. This is what I've learned:

• Women are more likely then men to be poor and often among the poorest of the poor.

• Millions of women are caught in a cycle of poverty even before birth.

• In poor families girls get less food then boys, therefore stunting their growth.

• Exhaustion, poor nutrition, lack of good care during pregnancy puts them at risk for poor health.

• Poverty forces her into relationships where she depends on men to survive. For fear of losing his economic support, she withstands unsafe sex and violence.
  

• She has low status which affects how she is treated, how she values herself, what she's allowed to do, and the kinds of decisions she's allowed to make. Therefore she's denied simply b/c she's a woman.
  

I have this crazy heavy heart for the issues of poor women in my area of the city of PP. I read these stats that i listed at the top and I realize how lucky I am to be and do something about them. I sat down this past week and re-evaluated my work. I've been running on high from July-Dec. And now Ruthie's left work. I've been struggling to keep my head above water. I think the last story of the woman who is pregnant and has no food that I wrote about really got to me. I felt like I was kicked in the stomach.

I'm into health education. I see and know how powerful and mighty it is.
Education equals changes, and change equal life!

I don't want to just pass these girls a fish, I want to teach them how to fish. I can't keep giving out medications...i want them to know how to prevent the headache, diarrhea, sore teeth, etc. from happening in the first place.

I've completely revamped the clinic schedule!! (On top of the fact that I need to focus more on sustainability, the fact that the clinic's funding has been pulled from our funder is another major reason why I have to cut down my clinic hours. 150.00/mth is what it takes to run it, and we don't even have that...)

Monday: Nancy (my older nurse partner) will take charge of the pregnant and post-natal clients of mine. Educating them and sharing with them knowledge such as: importance of breastfeeding, exercise, diet and rest. etc.
Tuesday/thursday: Completely devoted to Education days
Wednesday/Friday: full day clinic days

I'm dreaming big! I'm going upstream! I'm looking at the root problems. I'm asking the "But Why?" questions.
Such as, okay, Sexually Transmitted Infections are rampant. Why? Becaue their men are infecting them. But Why? Because their men refuse to wear condoms. But why? Because they don't know/don't give a rat's ass about the transmission of these infections. Okay: there it is; education!

That's my rant for today. Oh and the woman who I spoke of who is pregnant has just told me today that her son has TB...pray....please.
Her mother has agreed to work at the trash dump to collect recyclables to bring in an income. For every kg of recycling she finds she will get 300 riehls...less then 10 cents. Honestly? Really? Honestly? Sometimes all I can do is shake my head...and right now that's exactly what i'm doing.